Just a couple of minutes ago, I was sitting here on my computer reading about a guy who likes a girl, and then thinking to myself how I'm gonna be forever alone forever..whilst I open a box of chocolates that I have been trying to steal from my brother for forever. Yeah I think we can figure out why I'm gonna be forever alone forever.
This past weekend, along with some internet blog stuff from a random dude has got me thinking about..how lonely(?) I feel. I guess lonley is the right word, I'm not too sure. Let me get back to you once I know all the words in the english language that describes a feeling. I'm pretty sure I'm destined to only have 10 second guys in my life. If any at all. You know, the guys who don't amount to any more than the one-night club hook ups. Geez, I'm a real classy gal aren't I? I honestly have no idea what I'm doing in my life. With my life. MY FUCKING LIFE. And I think that's a huge part of why I can't meet at least 30 second guys..fuck. I just..I just want to not be alone. I want to be able to know first-hand what it feels like when someone tells me that I'm someone they care about. Or you know, that I'm cool. Whatever. I want to not have to live my love life through movies and books and other peoples lives.
And the thing is, I'm not even looking for a Titanic, Rose and Jack kind of thing. Not at all. I just want someone who'll be able to have fun with me, and be happy with me. My god I'm 19, I don't wanna get married. You know? None of that intense, serious stuff that always seems to lurk in the back of relationships ready to pop out and ruin everything. Just light, fun, silly, care-free summer stuff. I do realize that feelings may start to grow, and I get that that's part of the package. I want those too. Those damn butterflies, what do they feel like again? I want the butterflies, damnit!
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