TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

thankyou thankyou thaaankyouuuu for doing whatever it was you did to have school be let out 3 hours early. your amazing. i totally needed that. fuck. considering i bombed that unit test. im so screwed. and social. 41 percent? daaaaaamnit. how the fuck did i let this happen? i cant let this go on anymore. and yet...it is currenty 8:01pm and i am NOT doing my homework. that needs to be done. SOON. like..NOW. augh. i need to rant for a bit anyway. hanging at lindsays was so fun. it made me really excited to do lacombe idol. geez though. im scared. what if im not as good as i hear i am? then, ill mess up, and just...wow. well, whatever. you only live once right? i can do something thats so scary that it feels like my heart is gonna pop and kill me right then and there right? of course. damnit. i haaate how i get so jealous and angry. its not like..hes mine, or ever was. my feelings are very messed up right now. its so hard. i hate him. fuck. no i dont. but i do wish that i could punch him in the face. it might be verrrry satisfying. do i'll bet it would be. i wish that i didnt have so much time with these thoughts of mine. i dont know where they go, where they came from, its all so random, and yet, not so much. i feel like i need to talk to someone, someone who wont get fed up with what i have to say. someone who will just let me talk and understand that that really is all i need.